found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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