sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
zippers are such a cool invention
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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