Your mouth is God's brothel.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
