its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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