Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
