You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize