Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
...so i touched it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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