In America we eat man semen.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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