now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
