My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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