i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
