i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
