walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize