i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
