At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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