How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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