I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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