so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
