I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't deserve a penis
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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