shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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