She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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