It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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