I think i peed on brittanys purse
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
did i just pee glitter
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
