oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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