Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
