i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
