dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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