Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
