Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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