In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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