Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
