there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
