There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
