brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hate all girls vehemently.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
