Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
