Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
