Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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