Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
