Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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