Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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