I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
