he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize