Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
