Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
