I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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