brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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