yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
