Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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