Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
