I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
