Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
