are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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