doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
