Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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