Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
