You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it's like heaven, but drunker
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
