she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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