drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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