That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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